Flamingo Land has recently been rated the 'most disappointing' theme park in Britain.
The UK Thrillseeker Report ranked the family-run park, near Malton in Yorkshire, 24th out of 24 UK themed parks. The research by LatestDeals.co.uk is based on number of rides, ticket prices and other people's reviews. But is this long-established theme park really the most disappointing in Britain?
Or sister title YorkshireLive sent tourism writer Dave Himelfield to investigate and, of course, test out a couple of the rides for himself. Here is what he found.
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It's a gloomy and humid as we arrive at Flamingo Land at around midday. It's hardly heaving and we're through the virtual turnstiles in second.
The reception plaza is full of amusement arcades, tchotchke shops and fast food outlets. As the reception area of a theme park, it's a little underwhelming. Under grey clouds it's a tad disenchanting but we can blame the Yorkshire weather.
Scan the last two months of Flamingo Land on Tripadvisor and you'll find a lot of dismal and mediocre reviews. Many mention the tired decor, the closed attractions and the long queues for rides.
From the off, the decor is definitely an issue. Flamingo Land is starting to look outdated with faded signs, sun-bleached paint and cracked and potholed footpaths. The zoo looks particularly tired with cracked wooden fences and worn wooden walkways.
Some areas, such as the flamingo and penguin viewing areas are splattered with bird poo. Some of the attraction were indeed closed when we arrived.
The miniature railway and Mansion House tearoom are both closed. One of Flamingo Land's star attractions, the huge Kumali suspended rollercoaster was um... suspended from use. It did, however, reopen later that afternoon.
Sometimes it's bits of the attractions that are closed, out of order or missing. The lake over which The Flip Flop (a strange name for something that neither flips nor flops, thankfully) swings and rotates is dry apart from a few puddles. Fixed water guns surround the Splash Battle ride enabling spectators to further soak those on the ride. Alas, they aren't working when we try.
The queues
We aren't overly impressed with how queues are managed. It isn't especially busy, yet Mrs Dave and our son queue nearly an hour for Flamingo One, a giant ride-on slot car system so slow you'd expect the vicar to overtake on his bicycle.
We hear there's a two-hour queue for Hero, a white-knuckle rollercoaster that simulates free flight a la Superman. Our daughter and I queue 40 minutes for Mumbo Jumbo. Then again, queues for drop tower Cliff Hanger and the swinging and rotating Flip Flop are minimal.
The rides
But were they worth queuing for? Absolutely. For white-knuckle soaring, plummeting, jolting and looping they're among the best in Britain. We didn't get a chance to try all of them but the ones we did elicited euphoria from my daughter and nausea from my risk-averse 44-year-old self.
We tried the Mumbo Jumbo, which had a record-breaking 112 (vertical plus another 22) drop and Cliff Hanger, which launches you 50m straight up in the air without warning. We also rode Flip Flop; the name gives no clue to the 5gs you'll pull on this disorientating pendulum ride.
There are a few more white-knuckle rides including the flagship Sik with 10 inversions (i.e. upside down bits) and Velocity which is supposed to simulate MotoGP style acceleration and twists.
For more gentle, child-friendly rides Flamingo Land also delivers. We enjoyed the Runaway Mine Train, Splash Battle, Cyclosoar and Rotataur although we found Zooom and Flamingo 1 a bit underwhelming, even for young children.
The zoo is small compared to Yorkshire Wildlife Park or Chester Zoo but it has a decent range of exotic animals including lions, tigers, giraffes, sea lions, kangaroos and plenty more. It's pretty with mature weeping willows and a lake with flamingos (naturally). It is, however, somewhat rundown and a little dirty (see above).
Food and drink
As you'd expect in a theme park, it's very expensive. Plain burger and chips at 'The Diner'? £11. Hotdog and a 500ml bottle of Coke? £6.40. Bowl of Doritos and grated cheese? £5.75.
I can't attest for the quality because we sensibly brought our own picnic. There's The Coach House - a pub on the edge of the site which isn't particularly expensive but has polarised reviews. For a proper sit-down meal there's Dewars just off-site which has mostly favourable reviews if you fancy a splurge.
It's a shame the Mansion House Tearoom, next to the zoo, isn't open. A peek inside this handsome Regency manor house (real name: Kirby Misperton Hall) reveals a purple colour scheme straight out of 2005.
So is it 'disappointing'?
Disappointment depends on expectation and the higher the price, the greater the expectation. A family ticket (four people aged four or older) costs £162 if you book a week before your visit. It's £187 if you book with two days and £216 if you book any closer.
If you have realistic expectations (i.e. you expect queues and appreciate some of the animals may be out of view) it's not 'disappointing' for £162.
If you go on a whim on a hot Saturday in August, you may end up spending £216 and most of your time in queues for the rides. That would be disappointing, unless you really enjoy queueing.
You can buy VIP queue jumpers but it works out at an extra £8 to £10 per ride. There are some elements which are disappointing from all perspectives, however.
A small but noticeable proportion of attractions were closed and the park looks tired and in places, shabby. The app is clunky, unreliable and dated-looking. It wouldn't be so bothersome if a traditional paper map and guide had been offered but it wasn't and we were told to use an inadequate app.
The opening hours are a bit tight. There's a lot to explore but you're not going to see it all between 10am when it opens and 5pm when it closes, especially if you have to queue for rides. You come back the next day for a reduced fee but it's still more to spend.
Overall, none of these niggles will ruin your visit but they do sour what is for most visitors, an annual treat.
There did appear to be repairs ongoing on the miniature railway, and the zoo has been taking in new animals; we saw some delightful flamingo chicks.
YorkshireLive approached Flamingo Land for comment, but are yet to receive a response.
